Blunt Truth
by I'mDistracted
Summary: Ginny remebers her days of bulimia. DracoGinny. Dont read if you dont like eating disorders.
1. Trying to take a step forward

I would look at my self in the mirror.

'Fat. You are so fat.' the red headed me in the mirror seemed to spit the words at me.

A normal person would see me, Ginny Weasley.

Stick thin. Round breasts. Freckles. And red hair.

But I saw nothing but my huge thighs and round stomach. My face was weird shaped from the fat that sat there. i was hiedeous.

little did I know that this was mearly fear's work. Memories of my fat days and how they haunted me. I couldnt get away.

Nobody said anything about it, but everyone heard the vomiting in the middle of the night. They saw the full plates of food. But nobody wanted to come out and say that I had a problem.

Even I couldnt say it. But i knew what i did. But i never saw any results.

Everyday i would stay the same.

It was like I thought i was eating...like i made up memories and occorances.

Fat Ginny was eating at meals. Fat Ginny was mearly peeing in the middle of the night. But Fat Ginny wasnt real, just an excuse for the smart part of my mind. I was run by the weak side.

When boys asked me out, i would delete it.

When girls told me i was pretty, I would cry.

But i had my little crushes, my infactuations. None of them actually exsited, but what are you gonna do?

This is the story of my awakeing.

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"Is anyone in hear?" the voice was like a knife, it cut through the scilence.

Ginny's heart was pounding. It was 2:00 in the morning and i had needed to get rid of dinner. She had ran down to the prefects bathroom and shut out all the lights. Now a boy was here and he knew she was there.

"Um, just using the loo." Ginny said in a shakey voice. She heard the boy snort. She frowned.

"Using it for what? Cleaning the toilet with you mouth? You cant fool me, i heard you retching down the hall. I came here to see if there were problems, but instead i find a very vain girl trying to stay thin." Ginny curled up and was glad for the darkness. The sheer disgust in his voice had almost cut her.

Ginny heard the footsteps. She stood and opened the stall door.

"Shit!" Draco Malfoy was standing infront of her with a look of disbelife. It chipped away at Ginny's self image. He thought she was that ugly and fat?

"I'm not trying to stay thin, I'm trying to get thin." She said not making eye contact with him.

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"You scared me for a second there. So-" He stopped mid sentace. He could barely see the girl, he saw the red gleam of her hair.

"Shut Up! I dont need you to make fun of me!" Ginny yelled at the palehaired boy.

Draco was slightly taken aback.

"Make fun? You practicly pounced on me! I have the right to be scared of people leaping at me in the dark." He said, pushing the hair out of his eyes.

Ginny didnt know what to do. She was like one of thoses muggle computers when they malfunctioned. He hadnt been scared of her.

"Well...just leave me alone! I don't need your fat jokes." Ginny said walking past him. He shot out for her wrist.

"Wait!" he hissed. He was shocked to feel how small her wrist was. Was this some little 2'nd year? He reached for the light switch, pulling her with him.

The light was on and the girl standing infront of him was Ginny Weasley.

She was the skinniest girl he had ever seen. She had bags under her brown eyes and was deathly pale. Her collar bone stuck out sharply, along with her cheeck bones. She was beautiful in a deathly way. The only thing not out of place, was the red hair. Waves of it tumbled down her back, stopping around her bum.

"Crieky you're skinny." he said in a meek, and very un-malfoyish voice. She tugged her oversized robe around her body.

"Fuck you! Don't bloody lie to me!" She said moving for the light switch. he grabbed her around the middle, picked her up and moved her away from it. She looked at him with awe mixed with suspision.

"You had a strenght charm on. its the only way." She said, almost as if she was peaking to her self, convinceing herself that it was the reason.

"No. And to prove it. Finne Incatum!" he said pointing the wand at his chest. He grabbed her again."You are simply not facing the facts. You have an issue." he said putting her down again.

"If i did, my family would help me." Ginny said with a timmid strength.

"Where are all of you Gryffendor pals? Shouldnt _they_ be the ones telling you not to be Bulimic?" He said bluntly. Ginny looked at him with disbelief, no one had ever used the word to describe her "weight loss program".

"I'm not bulimic." Ginny said, but she looked as though she knew it wasnt true.

"What do you call it?" Draco said snidely. Ginny didnt say anything. She looked at the floor.

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Something was breaking through in her mind. It was like the real Ginny was tapping on the glass, trying to break it.

She didnt know what to say back to him. None of it made sense, not even to her.

When she had started, it was just to loose weight...now it was her lifestyle.

"If we talk, can we please turn off the lights?" She said, and even to herself she sounded pitiful.

"Okay." He said clicking off the lights. It was a dark night so there was no light from the windows. Ginny relaxed. No one could see her now.

Malfoy had sat on the floor leaning against a wall. Ginny followed suit.

"Where do i start?" She sighed, flopping down next to Malfoy.

"Start at the beggining, continue until you come to the end, then stop." He said looking at the ceiling.


	2. Taking a step backwards instead

"When i was younger, i was...a little chubby. i decided that when i came to hogwarts i would become thiner and never be fat again. when dieting and what not didnt help me i went to my old friend Samantha. She told me about her sister's "secret remedy" to being fat.

Samantha was always very very pale and thin, so i resented her but took her advice whenever she gave it. Samantha told me to stop eating meals. i tried. i really did, but my mother would give me a look that just crippled me. My mother was always supportive, but i cant say the same for my brothers. they were ashamed of me sometimes. didnt like to go places with me. this, of course, didnt help me at all. when i told samantha about it, she sighed and rolled her eyes. she told me to "get rid of it".

Samantha moved away a week after she thaught me the ropes of bulemia. i dropped the weight slowly and when she came back to see me she looked dissapointed and said i was getting nowhere slowly. Samantha stopped visiting and writing me. i started throwing up after every meal. the weight flew off, but now no one wanted to be around me. i was the "Aneorexic reject" in the corner. i sent Samantha a picture of me. she stopped by for a week. Now I was thinner than her, and boy was she jealous. She told me that i was still a fat ugly girl on the inside. Since i took her opinon in such high regard, i was shocked into submission. I felt like everyone still saw the fat ugly Ginny. So when i ate, i just threw it up. but this time, i wouldnt remember doing it. it was like i was just going to the bathroom. i thought i was putting the weight back on.

Then i went to Hogwarts. it was terrible! Everyone was judgeing me and i couldnt handle the pressure. I found that diary and i told it my fears. Well that didnt work out to well. i ended up being bloddy posessed. It wasnt like i knew that Tom existed. i thought the diary was charmed to make you feel better.

Then one day the diary snapped at me. it told me to piss off...or something along those lines. I was angry and hurt that yet another of the people i loved had turned on me. So i threw it in the toliet. Not very smart. Now Tom's plan was out of order so her decided that it was a good time to drain me of my life. Harry saved me." Ginny stopped after she said his name. Tears welled up in her eyes.

Harry had left her. He had left Hogwarts. He made up some excuse and left. She had been able to love him. He had momentarily broken through the wall she had built. But life with Harry was terriable. He ignored her constantly and didnt care about her physical apperance. She always hoped that he would change and love her, but instead he decided to go after dark wizards.

Draco didnt know what to do. Ginny had stopped talking and was possibly crying. He had been so confused at her story. It almost seemed like a story book. How could he have missed this in all the years he had teased her family. Had he contributed to this problem. For the second time in his life, Draco regreted doing something to the Weasley family. He was ashamed of himself.

"I can't finish today. The rest hurts too much." Ginny's tear filled voice said. She got up and walked to the door, knowing the footsteps by heart. Draco stood up quickly.

"Can i see you again?" Draco said. His guilt was hitting him hard. The least he could do is listen to the girl.

"If you want to." Ginny said walking out of the door. She didnt want to leave Draco, but she didnt want to stay. Without her brothers here, who would protect her if the Gryffendors thought she was a traitor for talking with Malfoy? No one would. If Malfoy wanted to see her again, he would have to try hard because she wasnt going to be an outcast in her own house.

Ginny paused before going up the stairs. Why was she comming down so hard on him. He actually seemed like he wanted to help. If she was hard on him she would be just like everyone else, avoiding someone because they are different. Ginny continued up the stairs. Did she really want to start something that would probably end with her in tears? No. If he really wanted to see her again, why hadn't he followed? Ginny felt her already existing tears multiply. He had just sat there because it would have been rude to leave. Story of her life. Ginny rushed to the commen room. She ran up the stairs to the girls dormitry and fell on her bed. When she finally slept, she had nightmares.


End file.
